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Tha New and Improved
My other page on Meli is fitting and all, but it really isn't everything I got to say 'bout her. Every relationship has its quirks and its problems and ours is no exception. Almost 4 years after we began our bond and we are still together. In many ways I see what we have as more than just the normal relationship...now a lot people can say that but who has the self-knowledge to know why they think that. The reason I say that is because through being with her I have learned many things, gone through many different emotions I thought 2 be myths before her and discovered a great deal about myself. I experienced the vast concentration of love Im able to express, and faced the dark hate that lives inside my very soul. All these great moments and dark phases all experienced in the 4 years spent with this one girl... one girl! It makes me shake at the thought of how much hate can come out of our mouths when we fight, especially when I know how much we care for each other. Many say love isn't an easy thing to come across and that even those in love fight, but I honestly think the person that said that did not find love as a teen. I have grown quite a bit since we began seeing each other, but when it comes down to it out fights are always about, for lack of better terms, baby shit. Many nights I have spent staring at my ceiling pondering how I can make "US" better, but the truth is I can't, because one can not mend a two person job. No matter how much I try to get across to her how much I care, she still has doubts, doubts of my loyalty, doubts of my very words that mean so much to me, and equally should mean as much to her. But when it comes down to it, isn't it doubts that break such strong foundations?
| Meli (march '02) |
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| Gorgeous ain't she?? |
Today while trying to get my mind off other troubles in my life at this present moment, I was listening to some music and one song that I have liked for awhile came to my attention while I was listening to the lyrics. The songs name is "In the End" by Lin Kin Park. Now the song itself doesn't appeal to my situation, but in one verse certain lines appeal to my situation more than any other words I've ever thought. The verse goes "One thing/I don't know why it doesn't even matter how hard you try/Keep that in mind/I designed this rhyme to remind myself How I tried so hard/In spite of the way you were mocking me/Acting like I was a part of ur property/Remembering all the times you fought with me/I'm surprised It got so far/Things aren't the way they were before/You wouldn't even recognize me anymore/Not that you knew me back then/But it all comes back to me In the end/You kept everything inside and even though I tried/it all fell apart/What it meant to me/will eventually/be a memory/of a time when I tried so hard". The parts in bold are the parts of the verse that relate to me. I don't mean to go and say that Melissa doesn't do anything to help us, but honestly I don't even think she sees how much problems we have, and worse sometimes I wonder if she still feels the same, we may argue more and more now-a-days but push come to shove I will put away out petty disagreements if it means it will help her. She is no doubt, no matter what I may say in the future, the best thing that has happened to me to this present day. There is no doubt in my mind that she has helped me through some rough times and helped me grow and become a better person. There will forever be a place for her in my heart, and I will forever love her.
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